


The Boys and the Moonlit Mask

by briggs



Series: A Version of Events [4]
Category: Eyewitness (US TV)
Genre: Begging, Blow Jobs, Bottom Philip, Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Extended Scene, Lukas talks a little dirty can you imagine!!!, M/M, but only a tiny bit i'm sorry, is anyone surprised?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-23
Updated: 2016-12-23
Packaged: 2018-09-11 10:40:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8976379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/briggs/pseuds/briggs
Summary: a final addition to the end of the show. some talk about Anne Shea, but mostly just smut.





	

**Author's Note:**

> title taken from "Nevermind the End" by Tei Shi. enjoy!

It was over.

All of it, collapsing with the loud sound of Helen firing her gun, and at the same time, the chilling silence afterwards. It ended with Philip staring at his biggest fear, on the ground not more than fifteen feet in front of him, bleeding out onto the grass underneath with two bullet wounds to the chest.

The quiet afterwards was almost deafening. It was a chilling relief that Philip couldn’t even feel right away, shock completely blanketing over every other emotion he could possibly feel. It was only when Helen walked toward him, holstering her gun before anything else, crouching down beside Philip to put the most gentle hand on his shoulder, that he could finally feel anything. It was the softest Philip had ever seen her, the stone of her features melting away to meet him raw, apologizing, a caring worry in her eyes. Maybe if Philip could focus on anything other than the two gunshots echoing over and over again in his head, he would have smiled, or maybe even teared up at how careful, how honest and patient Helen seemed to be with him.

She didn’t even expect him to try and get up, simply waited for Gabe to come, crouch down with them and pull them all together into the kind of hug Philip never knew he really needed from them. It was together that they breathed their sigh of relief, and while Philip couldn’t help himself from also feeling maybe a little guilty about that relief, it was needed anyway. It’s hard for him to remember, sometimes, that Ryan had wreaked just as much havoc and distress on both Helen and Gabe, not just him and Lukas. Hell, he had come through like a natural disaster, and everyone in town was affected by it somehow. In that moment, it was like the whole town, fuck, the whole state of New York was breathing a sigh of relief with them. Tivoli was safe from Agent Kane, and maybe finally Philip would be able to sleep a whole night through without waking in a cold sweat from a nightmare filled only with the face of the man now being carried away from them on a stretcher, police following after.

Lukas ended up back in the hospital to recover properly from the gunshot wound that never got proper care, which opened up again and could have gotten seriously infected from their ride in the trunk of Ryan’s car. Philip had gone to see him both days, occasionally sharing the space with a concerned Rose or a tired Bo, but it was so much better than the first time. Knowing all Lukas needed was some rest, antibiotics and pain medication. There was no worry of him sleeping forever, or wondering if the last conversation they ever had was going to have to be remembered as a fight. And the second time they kissed in that hospital room, it was Lukas who grabbed Philip’s hand and guided him down, thumb pressing into Philip’s wrist, even though he knew full well Bo was coming back with coffee any minute. 

The hardest part was finding out about his mom.

 Helen had sat him down outside on the porch while Gabe was inside cooking dinner, and Philip could tell she was fighting every urge to get him to come out and tell Philip instead. She had slowly reached for his hand as she started to explain, even though she’s not the most affectionate person, and it occurred briefly to Philip later that she had probably done that sort of thing before. She’s a cop, it’s part of the job, right? But even as he sat there, his mind feeling ten thousand miles away while she talked about the heroin overdose, he couldn’t figure out if it was hard for her because it never gets easier, or because it was Philip specifically. Helen choked out some words, inhaled sharply on others, tears starting to run slowly down her cheeks, and she gripped Philip’s hand so hard it could have hurt. If he were paying attention, he definitely would have been in pain.

But no, the words didn’t sink in until after she had finished, her chest heaving, and she whispered, “I’m so sorry, Philip.”

 He got up, and looked at at her, dead in the eyes, and he could tell she was fighting to hold his gaze, not to look down or away or close her eyes and forget it all was happening, another instinct of a cop. Philip felt his hands ball into fists, but only distantly, like he knew he wasn’t in control of his body anyway. As the information sunk in, he just shook his head.

That’s all he could do. Shake his head, small tears beginning to leak out of his eyes, backing away slowly from Helen, getting angrier and angrier, as if she had anything to do with it. And when she tried to step toward him, he knew his emotions were starting to show on his face in the form of a furrowed brow and clenched jaw, because he backed away again and Helen stopped in her tracks.

Everything went black.

There was a distant ringing in his ear, and he could tell Helen was still speaking to him, and he could see Gabe opening up the door to the porch with a worried look on his face, but it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered. Maybe it was the weight of everything, or the pain in Helen’s face, or Gabe walking slowly toward him, or maybe it was just Philip’s nature -- but he turned and ran, as fast as he could, and he didn’t look back. He didn’t know if Helen or Gabe would follow him, and he didn’t care to check, it didn’t _matter_ if they did.

He closed his eyes as he ran, tears spilling out, only opening them when he had to make sure he wasn’t going to hit anything.

By the time he reached Lukas’ house, Philip’s chest hurt and so did his eyes and his head. He couldn’t see, just walked blindly toward the barn near the side of the house, sat down against the wall where Lukas had pushed him and kissed him once, and waited. He curled up his knees, crossing his arms over them and burying his head, coughed out sobs, which were mostly silent, and couldn’t help clutching at his chest.

He doesn’t know how long it was before Lukas came outside, probably to fix something or get a tool or _God knows what_ , but it wasn’t until Lukas said his name in the most broken way that he finally looked up.

Lukas had gotten out of the hospital the day before (Philip remembered sitting on the steps of his house to meet him as Bo carefully helped him out of the truck), but that didn’t even cross Philip’s mind while he was running. He probably would have ended up at Lukas’ house even if he were in Antarctica.  
  
“Philip,” Lukas said, approaching slowly, his voice so careful, “are you okay? What happened?”

 Philip couldn’t respond. He just shook his head, staring Lukas in the eye, and then dipped his head back into his arms and shook it again. After a while, Lukas coming toward him to sit down beside him, totally patient, Philip finally croaked out: “She’s gone.”

They were barely above a whisper, but Lukas snapped to attention anyway. “What? W-what do you mean?” When he got no reply, he put a hand on Philip’s and repeated, “Philip, what do you mean?”

There was a long pause, Philip once again unable to speak. It was hard to comprehend, and he remembers not being able to even put words to it, unable to wrap his head around anything that had happened or what it meant. Lukas gave his hand a little squeeze, and distantly Philip realized that out of the corner of his eye Lukas was kind of flipping his shit very silently. “She’s gone,” he said again, weakly. “My mom--” He coughed a residual sob, and he could feel Lukas freeze beside him. “She’s really-- Lukas,” he whined, barely above a whisper, “She’s dead.”

Immediately, there was an arm working its way around Philip’s shoulders, gripping him in a way that made him feel secure, and pulling him into Lukas’ chest. “I’m so sorry, Philip,” he said, whispering, and somehow, without much movement and no words at all, coaxed Philip into completely melting into his torso. He knew he was probably making a mess of the shoulder of Lukas’ shirt, but he couldn’t force himself to stop. Lukas ran a hand down his back, rubbing his thumb against Philip’s ribs, soothing him. “It’s going to be okay,” he said, even though Philip knew for a fact neither of them were sure. After everything, even after Ryan’s death, there was still shit going wrong for the both of them, even though they thought it would end.

The quiet that followed lasted for a while. It wasn’t complete silence, with Philip occasionally making some noise and Lukas soothing him with a soft word or two, or a kiss to his forehead, or brushing his hair behind Philip’s ear with a gentle hum, but even so, it was a while before either of them dared to speak.

After what felt like years, Lukas finally spoke. When Philip looked up at him in surprise, he was staring straight forward, his hand still rubbing down Philip’s back. His words broke the silence a little suddenly, but softly, like brushing your hand lightly through mist. 

“When my mom died,” Lukas started, before clearing his throat and trying again. “When my mom died, it was my dad who told me. I remember wishing -- wishing it had been me, or m-maybe my dad.”

“Lukas--” Philip started, worrying the guy holding him was still beating himself up over even thinking something like that when he had been so young, but Lukas cut him off.

He looked down at Philip, just briefly. “No, let me -- just let me say this.” And when Philip had given him a soft nod in response, he simply looked forward and cleared his throat again. “I didn’t even really understand it for the first little while, and I got-- I got really angry, Philip. I don’t think my dad really knew what to do. I was throwing picture frames on the ground, I -- my mom had this jewelry box and I… I couldn’t look at it anymore.” Lukas didn’t have to say anything else, and it didn’t look like he could anyway. Philip got the gist. “It gets easier. It’s-- I’m not gonna, like, pretend I know how you feel, it’s totally different but -- if there’s anything you need, you know I’m here.”

“Thank you,” Philip said, curling further into Lukas’ sweater, balling the fabric over the boy’s chest into a fist. His voice was still hoarse, either from lack of use or the silent sobs, and he didn’t say anything else for a while.

It took some time before Philip was able to build up the courage to give Lukas a proper reply, and even then it was just because he needed to say something. He needed to explain it all, why it hurt so much, because if he didn’t he thought maybe he’d go insane. “He made her overdose on heroin,” he said, and Lukas’ head snapped immediately to look at him.

“What? The guy?”

Philip nodded. “He killed her, because of _me_ , and he made it look like an overdose. She-- she was getting better, Lukas,” he choked out, his voice catching specifically on “better.” He swallowed and kept trying, because he knew he needed to say all of it. “I couldn’t have done anything, I was helpless -- she was getting _better_ \--”

“I know,” Lukas had said, hushing him, but Philip wasn’t done.

He took a deep breath and tried again. “I wasn’t supposed to live with Helen and Gabe _forever_ . I didn’t even get to see my mom recover, I didn’t get to--” He stopped for a moment, coming at the story from a different direction. “When I was a kid, my mom used to go out at all hours of the night. At the beginning, she was always careful when it came to me, never wanted to me to get hurt, never even… wanted me to know what she was doing, but I could tell. She would get thin and frail and say it was because she was sick, but I would see the look in her eyes and just… _know_ that wasn’t true. She was sick, yeah, but not in the way she wanted me to think she was.” It took Philip a while to get through it, but he swallowed and kept going. “When I got a bit older, I started learning her patterns. It’s -- it’s so hard when someone you love knows they’re destroying themselves, but doesn’t care enough to _stop._

“I dealt with her drug use a lot of different ways, and not all of them were -- I got really mad at her sometimes, I tried ignoring her for weeks once, which was almost impossible for me -- but it just made her retreat farther into her vices. It was a long time before I came to the realization that I couldn’t really help her.

“By the time I had finally recognized it was a problem she had to _want_ to fix, I was in middle school.” Philip coughed, breathed in deeply and did his best to keep going. He curled further into Lukas’ chest and forced the words to keep coming. “Then I went back to my original tactic, one I used back when I barely knew what was going on other than that she was slowly letting something eat her away, and was just getting farther and farther away from me. I tried to make life seem more appealing to her, and I did my best not to take it personally when it didn’t work.”

By then, Lukas had shifted them both so Philip was lying in between Lukas’ legs, leaning back against his chest with his knees pulled up and Lukas’ arms wrapped around his own, wrapped around his knees. It gave him the strength to keep explaining. “I used to -- you know, coach her into taking care of herself. She started getting sloppy years before, coming home still high, essentially incompetent, and when that happened, I would teach her how to eat. How to drink, give her some water, put her in bed. And every time, she would put her hand on my cheek, and look at me with the eyes that made it impossible for me to be angry, and she would say, ‘Thank you, Philip. I love you, baby. And tomorrow, we’re going to go get some ice cream.’

“Of course, it rarely ever actually happened. But if I managed to get her out of one of her week-long hazes-- where she essentially woke up still high for at the very least, four days in a row -- we would actually go get ice cream. And she would promise me that it would never happen again, and thank me for helping her recover, and then it would happen all over again a few days later. And -- I was so… Now I feel like the kid she broke her promises to back when I was young. I feel like -- I was going to take her to go get ice cream, once she was out, and now I just feel like it’s me who broke the promise, not her. I couldn’t -- I should have done something, I should have _known_ . I should have asked Helen to-- or _fuck, something,_ I-- _._ ”

And then he couldn’t hold back the tears any longer. Philip had managed to keep them at bay for most of the time he was telling the story, even willed his voice to steady, to be calm and level. But you can only hold back for so long, when your entire childhood is ripped from you by the same guy who’s tormented you for weeks, haunted your nightmares, no matter how much time you take during breaks in your sentences to take deep breaths.

There was a relief, though, that flooded him. Lukas said, in the most careful voice, “Hey, hey, don’t beat yourself up,” and simply gripped him tighter, burying his face into Philip’s hair and pressing a kiss there. It’s not often that Philip had ever seen Lukas so soft, so vulnerable, even while Philip was the one telling his story. The only other time was in the barn, listening to their playlist together. “You couldn’t have done anything, the guy -- the guy was just faster than us. Better even than Helen.”

“I _know_ ,” Philip whined, his voice failing him again. “But we should have -- I don’t know.”

“Come on, Philip,” Lukas said, holding his hand around his knees, rubbing his thumb across the skin on the top of his fingers. “We did all we could.” There was another break of silence, Lukas hesitantly turning Philip’s jaw back to face him with his thumb. It wasn’t an easy angle, but Lukas kissed him slowly and it helped. As he pulled away, he said softly, “It’s not your fault.”

Apparently that was what Philip needed to hear. Something very small settled in his chest, and it felt like maybe he could get up, if he needed to. But instead Lukas held him there, his lips pressed to the side of Philip’s face, and he continued speaking. It was barely above a whisper, but they were so close they didn’t really need much more than that anyway. “You know,” he said, in that voice Lukas has, “Helen and Gabe… living with them might not be so bad.”

Philip, though his chest still ached, couldn’t help the sarcastic laugh that escaped him. “Why, because now it means I’m stuck in Tivoli with you?”

“What?” Lukas said, sounding genuinely surprised. “Oh, no. I mean -- well yeah, that’s a bonus. But I mean… y-you said your mom was glad you had them, right? And they’re pretty good to you. 

“Yeah,” Philip replied, slowly, nodding.

Lukas cleared his throat and kept trying. “Well, I just mean… you know, now that the guy is dead, maybe Helen will… she’ll have more time for you, right? Maybe she’ll seem a little less cold.”

“I guess,” was all Philip could give him in reply.

“Hey,” the blond holding him said, squeezing his arm gently again. “I’m not saying it’s going to be sunshine and rainbows or anything, but at least you have them.” There was a subtle, almost unnoticeable bitterness to his voice that, distantly, reminded Philip that Lukas hadn’t really gotten the best luck when his mom died either, and that only recently did he seem to be working it out with his father.

There was another long silence, if only because it’s hard to know what to say in a situation like that, but Philip was perfectly comfortable to lay in Lukas’ arms and calm himself down. Soon, he knew he’d return to Helen and Gabe and apologize, and maybe talk to them about it some, too. Talking to Gabe -- the thought actually seemed appealing. “So what now?” Philip asked, turning his head to look up at Lukas, who immediately looked back down at him in return.

“You keep going.”

It was probably the most realistic thing Lukas could have said. There’s no way for Philip to move on, or wait for it to stop hurting -- Lukas had reminded him that it doesn’t ever really _stop,_ it just gets a little easier, and that’s what you have to hang on to. Eventually, Philip had walked back home, at almost one a.m., and apologized to Helen and Gabe. They forgave him immediately, of course, but warned him that they’re still a little uneasy about him going out so late on his own. Sure, one bad guy is down the drain with two bullets to the chest, but you never know how many more are out there, waiting.

Of course they didn’t say that part, but they thought it.

 

 

Almost two months have passed since then, and now Philip sits on his front porch waiting for Lukas to show up. They have plans to go back to the quarry near Lukas’ cabin now that Lukas’ bike is fixed, film some more sick jumps for his channel. He even suggests trying the lake jump again when they have the chance and feel safe going back to the lake where he was shot by Philip’s house, which, while scary, is a step they’re willing to take together. Just maybe… not right away.

Lukas finally shows up, braking hard on his bike and turning to the side so he stops with the side of the bike facing Philip on the steps. Philip laughs as Lukas takes off his helmet, and even as he walks closer to the blond boy, says, “Hey, come on, you’re tearing up the grass.”

“Yeah, whatever, asshole,” Lukas says, walking closer and pulling Philip in to kiss him. Their lips fit together like they were always meant to, like both of them knew this is always where they would end up, and Philip feels the breath leave him like it usually does when Lukas is this close. Even after all this time, he feels like a twelve year old who’s in love for the first time.

Behind them, Gabe peeks out of the house and calls out to them. “Hey, Lukas!” He called, waving. “Philip, are you taking this bag, or what?”

“What?” Philip says, turning around, seeing that Gabe has his overnight bag in his hand. 

They had planned this out weeks ago, and had slowly gotten their respective parents (or guardians) warmed up to the idea before actually setting a date. The plan was to go to the cabin together (which they’ve already done a few times since the first time, each visit getting a little easier) and stay overnight there, just for fun. They hadn’t slept over anywhere together since Lukas slept in his house, if only because now that Bo and Helen and Gabe all knew, they were all suddenly _very_ concerned about their safety as a _couple_ . Which, as exciting as that was for a while, gets a little irritating when you’re trying to have a fun time with your boyfriend (yes, _boyfriend_ ) after spending weeks on the run from a murderer.

“Oh, yeah, thanks!” Philip starts to walk back to Gabe, and has to remind himself not to be surprised when Lukas follows. “Probably can’t go without this,” he says, and Gabe just laughs affectionately at him.

“Yeah, I’ll bet. Have fun, you two,” Gabe says, handing over the bag freely. He had been the most in favour of their little getaway, even when Helen and Bo were complaining about possible sex and a million other things that could go wrong. “And be careful, okay?”

Philip nods, smiling. “Thanks, Gabe,” he says, even as he starts turning away to walk with Lukas back to his bike.

By the time they’re putting on their helmets, Helen has walked out to join Gabe on the porch, standing behind him with a hand on his shoulder. “Bye, boys!” She yells at them, soft smile on her face, and absently Philip thinks about how nice it is to see her so relaxed. Right before Lukas peels away, he sees her kiss Gabe on the cheek, who turns and grabs her, pulling her back into the house as she laughs. It feels nice, seeing them that way.

They ride to the cabin in silence, because you can’t really talk through the helmet over the engine, but Philip grips Lukas’ waist like he always has and that’s enough for them. It’s closer to winter now, though it hasn’t started snowing yet, but it’s definitely colder than it was before. In all honesty, Philip has no clue how much snow Tivoli usually gets. 

Once they’re at the cabin, taking off their helmets, Lukas barely waits before he’s tugging Philip in, kissing him softly, but with some determination. Lukas’ mouth is warm, his lips soft, and with his hands gripping Philip’s waist, he thinks maybe he’d be comfortable just to strip and go at it right there beside the bike.

Instead, Lukas grabs for his hand and says, “Come on,” dragging him inside the cabin.

“What, you don’t want to film first?" 

Lukas actually laughs at him, grinning so brightly it makes Philip’s chest hurt just a little as they enter the cabin. “You actually thought I wanted to film anything? That stuff’s not important,” he says, pulling Philip closer, sitting on the edge of the bed with Philip standing in between his legs.

“Oh, biking isn’t important to you anymore? Tell me, what’s more important?” Philip taunts, sticking his face out to Lukas, because he knows the answer before Lukas says it.

Lukas rolls his eyes just a little, even though there’s still a huge grin on his face. “Shut up,” he says, but pulls Philip down to kiss him.

He can tell Lukas is just about to part their mouths, keep going, but since Lukas has been open enough to say it once, Philip just wants to hear it over and over again. “No, no,” he says, pulling away and trying not to laugh at the look Lukas gives him. “I’m curious. What’s more important than motocross?”

There’s another sigh from Lukas, who grabs the collar of Philip’s shirt right before he says, “ _Y_ _ou_ , idiot,” and pulls him down. He brings Philip with him as he lies back on the bed, Philip lifting up a knee to get on the bed on the other side of Lukas’ leg.

“That’s more like it,” Philip says, overtop of Lukas’ face, his lips ghosting over Lukas’. Lukas’ hands are immediately on Philip’s ass, squeezing, and then running up his back and hiking his shirt up with them.

“Will you shut up?” Lukas replies, breathy, before scooching up on the bed and dragging Philip up to meet him. It takes some maneuvering, but it doesn’t even look like Lukas thinks much about it while he flips them over and situates himself in between Philip’s thighs. Philip’s head leans back into the pillow when Lukas kisses him into it, licking into his mouth, and it’s suddenly so hot in the cabin that should be so cold. It’s clear that there’s still some residual pain in Lukas’ shoulder, but he doesn’t seem to let it bug him too much.

Philip leans up, barely separating his mouth from Lukas’, and the other boy wastes no time trying to get Philip’s jacket off and onto the floor. After that it’s Philip’s shirt, and it seems that once it’s off, Lukas just can’t keep his hands off Philip’s body. He seems entranced, like he was the first time they made out in the cabin, and immediately leans down to kiss at Philip’s chest, across his collarbones.

After Philip gets Lukas’ shirt hiked up to his armpits, the boy finally catches on and takes it off the rest of the way before he pushes Philip’s shoulder back down onto the bed and follows quickly after. Lukas hikes one of Philip’s thighs up, grinding down onto him with his other hand holding him up by Philip’s head. He kisses Philip like he means to take his breath away, and _boy_ does it work.

They move together and Jesus _,_ they’re such teenagers. Philip could get off just like this, _has_ gotten off just like this, even though he knows the real thing is so much better than grinding through four layers of clothing too many. Lukas kisses into his mouth, their tongues sliding by, hot and wet, just breathing into each other. Philip’s hands go to Lukas’ pants almost instinctively, going right for the buckle of his belt, and when Lukas pulls away to kiss at Philip’s neck, he takes the opportunity to whisper, out of breath, “Get these off,” into Lukas’ ear.

 In seconds Lukas’ jeans are on the floor, and he sits up to get at Philip’s own button, who lies beneath him and watches how fast Lukas tries to get his pants off. Eventually he’s unzipping the fly, lifting Philip’s hips so he can drag off his jeans. “Oh fuck,” Lukas says, staring down at Philip, who suddenly feels a little more naked. The first -- the _only_ time they’ve done this before, they were a little rushed and being overly careful, but this time Lukas takes his sweet time staring at Philip laid out before him. “Y-you’re… fuck, you’re so hot.”

“Not so bad yourself,” Philip says sarcastically, as he reaches up to tug Lukas’ neck back down to him, “Now come back here.”

Lukas hums into his mouth, and it’s so much better grinding without the jeans, feeling Lukas’ dick, clearly just as hard as his own, creating all the friction they need through just their boxers. He moans a little into Philip’s jaw, and it’s too much, they have to be naked _now_. 

“Come on,” Philip says, “let’s do it. We don’t have to be careful anymore.”

Lukas nods, not even bothering to move his head from where he’s kissing at Philips jaw, and Philip brings one hand to tug at the waistband of Lukas’ boxers. Lukas, getting the hint, uses one hand to take them off and the other to hold himself over Philip, before getting at Philip’s boxers as well. It’s not long before they’re both naked and Lukas is staring at him again, breath heavy. “ _Fuck_ ,” he says again, and _yeah,_ _that’s the idea._

 “Stop saying it and get to it already,” Philip says, but Lukas just laughs at him, kneeling in between Philip’s thighs, looking down on him.

 “Actually,” he says, stopping Philip as he’s in the middle of reaching into his jean pockets for a condom, “I -- can I… I want to suck you off, first.” 

Philip honestly can’t nod fast enough. “You never need to ask,” he says, and watches as Lukas’ face lights up just a little, and he dives back down to kiss a trail from Philip’s collarbones to his nipples. Lukas spends a little more time on the right, sucking for a little and pulling just lightly with his teeth, smiling at the moan Philip can’t contain. He kisses further down Philip’s stomach to his ribs, and then his hips, and then slowly over to his dick, now leaking just a little precome onto his stomach.

There’s only a brief moment of hesitation, probably due only to lack of experience, before Lukas is licking up Philip’s dick experimentally. Then he follows slowly with the rest of his mouth, taking Philip between his lips and sucking, looking up to meet Philip’s eyes like he wants to know exactly what Philip’s reaction is.

It’s so much, especially knowing it’s Lukas’ mouth around his dick, that Philip throws his head back and has to close his eyes. The first time Lukas sucks and bobs up and down, really slow, Philip’s mouth drops open against his will, and he sucks in a breath when Lukas, who probably doesn’t really know what he’s doing, licks the tip on the upstroke and starts The Undoing of Philip Shea.

After a couple pulls, Lukas adds a hand to the bottom, gripping the bottom half of Philip’s cock and pulls up to meet his mouth on every tug. Philip can only keep his mouth open and do his best to remember to breathe. Absently, he thinks maybe Lukas has actually done research -- probably in the form of shitty porn -- because there's no way he could know exactly how to grip Philip’s balls the way he does just by pure instinct. Philip can only choke out a breathy, “Holy _shit_ ,” and close his eyes.

Lukas seems to actually enjoy sucking Philip off when he finally gathers the strength to lean up and look at Lukas, and it just adds to the effect. Lukas’s lips are red, his cheeks blushing as well, and Philip can't contain the urge to run his hands through Lukas’ hair, right at the roots of the blond, and when he squeezes his hand into a fist, pulling the hair on Lukas’s head, the blond boy makes a noise that is just _unholy._ It should be illegal. He looks perfect, looking up at Philip while he’s got his dick in his mouth, watching exactly how much he can take Philip apart just with his lips and some tongue. He moves the hand from under Philip’s dick to rub Philip’s chest, eventually moving over to play with the nipple again. “Oh my _God,”_ Philip moans, and it's not long before he deems it too much.

“C’mere,” he says, tugging on Lukas’ hair to try and persuade him into coming back up to kiss him. “Just fuck me already _,_ ” Philip whines, earning him a sly smile from Lukas as he pulls off Philip's cock with an obscene _pop_ , and he licks his lips in a way that drives Philip insane.

Lukas just laughs, crawling back up Philip's body to lean over him again, kissing him slowly. “What's the magic word?” He asks when he pulls away, Philip’s lips trying to follow him.

Any other time, Philip would roll his eyes or sigh or say something sarcastic or tell Lukas to fuck off. But now, completely at Lukas’ mercy, he just whines, “Please,” and watches what it does to Lukas’ face.

“ _Fuck_.” Lukas kisses him again, sliding their hips back together and humming into Philip’s mouth when their dicks slide against each other in just the right way. “Well, since you asked so nicely,” Lukas says, and it would be really sly if he didn't have this big goofy grin on his face, if it didn't come out breathy and weak, if he wasn't threading his fingers through Philip’s like he needs something to ground him. They kiss for a while, just like that, since they finally have all the time in the world, Lukas pressing him down into the bed in a way that makes sure neither of them can get soft.

“Come _on,”_ Philip says into Lukas’ ear while he sucks on Philip’s own, even though he doesn't want to beg, because as much as he likes to say he wouldn't admit it, he needs Lukas inside him _now._

Lukas laughs again, pulling away to smile down at him. “Someone’s needy today,” he teases, “did you miss me?”

Philip can't help but laugh at him in return. “Yeah, fuck off. I can walk home, you know." 

“Naked and hard?” Lukas replies, eyebrow up, skeptical.

 “Yep.”

“You sure?”

“See you later,” Philip says, and he makes a move to weasel out from under Lukas, even though it's just a bluff anyway, but Lukas doesn't call it.

He can't seem to wait long enough to figure out it's a bluff, and instead cages Philip in and says, “Please stay,” like he’d be weak and abandoned if Philip didn't.

“I suppose I could--” Philip starts, but he's cut off by Lukas’ mouth on his, tongue licking in enthusiastically, and they barely part while Philip searches in his wallet for a condom.

It takes a little while, but eventually Lukas puts on the condom without issue, and he looks directly in Philip’s eyes as he lubes up one finger and plays around Philip’s hole, easing it in slowly. There's a sound that escapes Philip that he just can't control, and Lukas leans down to kiss it out of his mouth. After a moment Lukas introduces a second finger, never separating his lips from Philip’s skin as he places wandering kisses from Philip’s jaw, to his neck, to his shoulder. It seems that Lukas, now that he's seen Philip naked, can't get enough of kissing every inch of him within reach.

Philip grips tightly onto Lukas’ shoulders, one gradually moving up into Lukas’ hair while his thighs wrap around Lukas’ ribs. The angle is perfect when Lukas adds a third, lubed finger, and he doesn't have to stretch for long before Philip is panting, “I'm ready, come on. _Lukas.”_  

That causes another sound to escape Lukas as he looks down, guiding his dick into Philip, both of them closing their eyes as he eases in deeper. Philip can't help the noises that escape him, especially because Lukas isn't _small,_ and this angle is just so much better than the one they had before.

Well, maybe not _better_ , because there's nothing better than sex with Lukas period, but it's different, and it's exciting and shocking and Philip feels every bit of it jolt through his body like electricity.

Eventually, when Lukas is all the way in and has stopped moving, he holds there until Philip has to whine, “ _Move_ ,” and then he eases back out again. The second thrust is only marginally faster than the first, but it's not long before they're gaining speed and rhythm, Lukas grinding into him with his arms caged on either side of Philip’s head, leaning down to kiss him whenever he gets the chance. Philip balls his fists in Lukas’ hair, earning him another moan, and it's then that Lukas hikes Philip's hips up and fucks down into him.

They're both sweaty, panting, but it's the best Philip has felt in a long time, and he seems to get a healthy dose of that feeling every time he's with Lukas. They moan into each other's ears, and they laugh when there's a weird noise or when Lukas’ leg slips slightly off the bed and he almost elbows Philip in the face, and it's just so perfectly _them_. Philip can't help but smile, and Lukas reaches up to take one of Philip's hands from his hair to thread their fingers together again, down on the pillow beside Philip’s head.  

It's not long after that when Lukas hits the sweet spot, sending a shock all through Philip’s body, and he chokes out a sound he can't control. It's a couple thrusts before Lukas finds it again, Philip’s prostate, and then he hits it twice. He seems to keep searching for it after that, savouring every sound Philip gives him in return, and it's fucking _incredible._ While Philip loved riding Lukas, there's also something to be said about getting fucked by him, fucked into the bed where they first kissed, completely melting with every move of Lukas’ hips. He had to keep control before, since he was the one doing all the work, but now he has free reign to let go. And God, when he knows he's in Lukas’ safe hands, it feels amazing.

The thrusts start getting faster, both of them gripping onto each other as much as possible, and it's a good thing they're in the middle of the forest because they're not exactly being quiet. Talk about giving new meaning to the term “Bumfuck Nowhere.”

Lukas’s thrusts eventually grow irregular, getting faster and faster, and he successfully hits Philip’s prostate so many times in a row that Philip can't possibly keep his mouth shut. He whispers awful things in Philip’s ear, and somehow Philip thinks maybe Lukas doesn't know how dirty they are. Things like “I kind of want you to come in my mouth, I want to know what you taste like,” and “Your mouth is perfect, I want to fuck you there too,” and “Your ass is so tight, _fuck_ , you're amazing.”

Of course Philip comes first, his vision going white and spilling all over his own stomach as he whispers Lukas’ name, and above him, Lukas smirks like that's what he wanted all along. Like he wanted to put in the effort and bite back the occasional pain in his shoulder to get Philip to come first. 

Lukas isn't long after him though, and after he's come, he collapses down onto Philip until they're lying there, naked, entangled and in love, in a state of perfect post-coital bliss with their hands still locked together. Lukas just tilts his head up to kiss him, stupid smile on his face, and Philip decides he never wants to leave this moment, not ever. Fuck, he never wants to leave _Lukas._ He whispers “I love you,” into Lukas’ mouth, and moments later gets a returning, “I love you too,” whispered into his hair.

They end up fucking twice more before they leave the next morning, and end up leaving an hour later than they wanted to just because they can't keep their hands (or mouths) off each other.

Lukas holds hands with him in front of everyone ask they walk down the halls the next Monday, and kisses him into his locker like he doesn't have a thing to fear. Rose whistles as she passes by them, and yells that they should get a room. 

For now, it's the perfect ending to what has been a crazy ride for them, but Philip knows it's not the end.

No. For them, it's only the beginning.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it, it's probably the last instalment in this series. I'm going to keep writing philkas, of course, but if there isn't a season two then this series is over. for those of you who have read all of them, thank you! and to those who havent, thank you for reading this one anyway!
> 
> please leave me comments, they're my favourite part!!!! 
> 
> tumblr: grimegarage (send me a message!!)


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